Right now I am supposed to be writing an article about how food can help improve concentration and umm...I can't seem to get focussed. Just a tad ironic don't you think?
I actually have a good excuse though - I've done something that goes against my core being. I temporarily lost faith in my abilities and sold out to the highest bidder. This is starting to sound like I did something totally tragic but logically it was probably the right thing to do. You see I've accepted a one month contract back in the IT world and my heart is breaking. I do know that it is the responsible thing to do though. Yeah the money will be good and it isn't exactly what I used to do but it is still not who I am right now.
Positive thoughts....OK so I will be paid well and be able to live quite comfortably for a while and maybe even take a long overdue trip to SA. It is an easy post and I will be able to keep my head down, do the job and then leave. But as is typical in my life, I've just had to turn down more writing work and that does not please me in the least. The upshot is that I can be more selective about the writing gigs I accept in the near future and ensure that I only write articles about things I am passionate or at least interested in. BUT yuck IT again!!
In a sense I feel like a failure for going back to the old lifestyle but I know in my heart it isn't true. I have achieved a lot in the past few months and the only reason for this little diversion is money. I just wonder when I will be able to erase IT from my memory for good. Hopefully 2009 will be an IT free year.
Enough ranting, best I get back to...oh yeah the article on improving concentration.
Tuesday 28 October 2008
Saturday 11 October 2008
A lost African
Well this is going to be a quick blog as I am heading out in a few moments but I just wanted to lament for a bit.
Just shy of a year ago, I was busy packing my bags for a trip of a lifetime into the depths of Africa to visit our nearest relatives, the gorillas. Filled with much trepidation, I was glad for the company of my mate. Honestly I don't think I would have done it without the arm-twisting of my friend.
It did turn out to be a trip of a lifetime, one that made me fall in love with Africa all over again - and subsequently I have been floating around the UK like a lost fart in a perfume factory ever since.
Much has changed in my life since then, with steely determination I am trying to make a go of freelance journalism and am trying to live according to my soul's desires. It isn't easy and at times I feel like throwing in the towel and returning to the stomach-churning world of IT but God-willing I will make my dreams come true. Things are looking up now, so hold thumbs this brief rocky period will soon be over.
Now for the lament...Africa. I miss it intensely but am not sure if I can go back there permanently. Having lived in the UK for so many years, can I still call myself African? People that have never lived abroad may not understand but as I sit here today I am kinda without nationality. I am neither African nor a Brit. Africa changed and so have I. When I speak to people still living in SA, I see this wide gap between their ways and my own. In order to survive in the UK I adapted my ways. I will never be a Brit but there are elements of me that are more Brit then SA. So where do I belong, where do I fit in this global blueprint?
I keep telling myself it is time to move on, maybe Italy. The truth is what I hunt will not be found in Europe or Australia. Africa holds my heart - like a possessive lover, it refuses to let go. I can hear the words "Go home" gently carried across the wind but I am fearful of returning and no longer belonging there.
There are no easy answers to these questions. For now this little lost African will continue to mimic the British ways and hope that one day the spirit Gods will lead me to the place that is home, wherever that may be.
Just shy of a year ago, I was busy packing my bags for a trip of a lifetime into the depths of Africa to visit our nearest relatives, the gorillas. Filled with much trepidation, I was glad for the company of my mate. Honestly I don't think I would have done it without the arm-twisting of my friend.
It did turn out to be a trip of a lifetime, one that made me fall in love with Africa all over again - and subsequently I have been floating around the UK like a lost fart in a perfume factory ever since.
Much has changed in my life since then, with steely determination I am trying to make a go of freelance journalism and am trying to live according to my soul's desires. It isn't easy and at times I feel like throwing in the towel and returning to the stomach-churning world of IT but God-willing I will make my dreams come true. Things are looking up now, so hold thumbs this brief rocky period will soon be over.
Now for the lament...Africa. I miss it intensely but am not sure if I can go back there permanently. Having lived in the UK for so many years, can I still call myself African? People that have never lived abroad may not understand but as I sit here today I am kinda without nationality. I am neither African nor a Brit. Africa changed and so have I. When I speak to people still living in SA, I see this wide gap between their ways and my own. In order to survive in the UK I adapted my ways. I will never be a Brit but there are elements of me that are more Brit then SA. So where do I belong, where do I fit in this global blueprint?
I keep telling myself it is time to move on, maybe Italy. The truth is what I hunt will not be found in Europe or Australia. Africa holds my heart - like a possessive lover, it refuses to let go. I can hear the words "Go home" gently carried across the wind but I am fearful of returning and no longer belonging there.
There are no easy answers to these questions. For now this little lost African will continue to mimic the British ways and hope that one day the spirit Gods will lead me to the place that is home, wherever that may be.
Friday 3 October 2008
Winter has arrived
Yeah folks - winter has finally arrived. Gone is the sun that held me in its warm embrace when I was in mainland Europe a few months back.....it isn't fair!!!!!!
So it brings up the familiar old song again, what the hell am I doing living in this country? If anyone has a magic wand, please wave it in my direction and send to a warm, picturesque place - preferably one where the dreaded "R", as in recession, is never mentioned.
Seriously the press over here is obsessed with the recession and are driving us into one. Sure the banks have screwed up by taking risks that any sensible human being wouldn't dare touch but if the media wasn't constantly probing around in their affairs; I am sure they would rectify the situation - hint: look to how Africa does business, loopholes are always being exploited there.
Anyway a levelling out was inevitable after a decade of a bull market. Like tectonic plates under pressure, an earthquake is needed to release the superfluous energy and get things back to normal. This is pretty much what is happening in the financial markets right now. We couldn't have kept going with rocketing house prices; and personal and business liability exceeding capital ownership. We were living in a dreamworld.
Of course now the scaremongers among us would have us believe that it is all doom and gloom. As they say if you hear something often enough, you soon start to believe it is true. This is what is happening now. The media keeps telling we are heading towards a recession and like a self-fulfilling prophesy we now are.
If only people would stop listening to the noise and continue to live as normal. Yeah pull in the financial belt a bit and be more sensible with your money (even in optimistic times this is a wise move) but a full clamp down will only exacerbate the situation. This of course is more true for businesses than the man on the street. The world revolves on money - put simply businesses need to make money in order to maintain their staff levels; invest money and of course prop up the banks with financial trading. When the spend stops; companies fold, people lose their jobs and the domino effect happens.
The morale of the story: Well, live a financially responsible life but don't let the economic winter rule your life. Summer will roll around again soon enough, once the markets have stabilised. It may be a bit of a rough ride for now but think about it this way, what it is doing is making us all think about the way we spend our money - this cannot be a bad thing.
Now if only we could be guaranteed of a proper summer in the UK next year, with warm weather and sunshine - it might actually make me reconsider moving from this country but unlike the financial market where we will eventually see summer again; it does seem improbable.
So it brings up the familiar old song again, what the hell am I doing living in this country? If anyone has a magic wand, please wave it in my direction and send to a warm, picturesque place - preferably one where the dreaded "R", as in recession, is never mentioned.
Seriously the press over here is obsessed with the recession and are driving us into one. Sure the banks have screwed up by taking risks that any sensible human being wouldn't dare touch but if the media wasn't constantly probing around in their affairs; I am sure they would rectify the situation - hint: look to how Africa does business, loopholes are always being exploited there.
Anyway a levelling out was inevitable after a decade of a bull market. Like tectonic plates under pressure, an earthquake is needed to release the superfluous energy and get things back to normal. This is pretty much what is happening in the financial markets right now. We couldn't have kept going with rocketing house prices; and personal and business liability exceeding capital ownership. We were living in a dreamworld.
Of course now the scaremongers among us would have us believe that it is all doom and gloom. As they say if you hear something often enough, you soon start to believe it is true. This is what is happening now. The media keeps telling we are heading towards a recession and like a self-fulfilling prophesy we now are.
If only people would stop listening to the noise and continue to live as normal. Yeah pull in the financial belt a bit and be more sensible with your money (even in optimistic times this is a wise move) but a full clamp down will only exacerbate the situation. This of course is more true for businesses than the man on the street. The world revolves on money - put simply businesses need to make money in order to maintain their staff levels; invest money and of course prop up the banks with financial trading. When the spend stops; companies fold, people lose their jobs and the domino effect happens.
The morale of the story: Well, live a financially responsible life but don't let the economic winter rule your life. Summer will roll around again soon enough, once the markets have stabilised. It may be a bit of a rough ride for now but think about it this way, what it is doing is making us all think about the way we spend our money - this cannot be a bad thing.
Now if only we could be guaranteed of a proper summer in the UK next year, with warm weather and sunshine - it might actually make me reconsider moving from this country but unlike the financial market where we will eventually see summer again; it does seem improbable.
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